Doctor Love

So, I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. He keeps getting SMS messages from someone named "D". Would it be ok if I suggested a threesome? And should I blame the other woman, since, technically, my boyfriend is supposed to be the one committed to me? Why can't I get back at the bitch who knew he was already taken?

To console myself, I went out and bought a Dior plastic lipgloss. I can't believe I paid so much for it, but it's supposed to last most of the day with just one application. I hate when I feel depressed, because I always go shopping. And speaking of shopping, I am looking for the perfect moisturizer - and shoes. Do you have any recommendations?

Also our cat seems to be traumatized by my boyfriend's philandering ways. He peed on the carpet for the first time, ever. How do you get pet pee out of the carpet? It stinks! And do you think that pets can tell when the owners are cheating? Do you think they dream and can read your thoughts / sense your emotions? And should I tell my landlord? I was thinking I could blame the smell on the previous tenants.

If my boyfriend and I split up, how long should I give
myself to wallow in self-pity and misery? Is it OK for me to go out and get drunk and have a sympathy shag? I've kind of seen this coming for a while, but just haven't wanted
to face things.

Your truly,
T. Hopeful

(words: Melanie O., Australia; picture: Dorothee L., Germany)